My Immortal (OneShot)
by AnnaCullen01
Summary: He left me broken, but I cant make myself regret my choice. If I could I would fall for him again, he's worth it. Once fate has something chosen for us, it's bound to happen one way or the other. All we ever hope for is that we choose the right way. "This wounds won't seem to heal ... there's just too much that time cannot erase" Set years after New Moon AU ExB ONESHOT


POV Bella

It's been months since he left. A year exactly. I never could get over him, he still haunts me day and night, in my dreams and nightmares and of course in my every thought.

Even though I tried not to think of him sometimes I just can't help it. He still is forbidden to remmember, just to think of him makes my chest ache but I can't make myself forget him, not when he was the best part of my life.

I did get out of my zombie state, for Charlie's sake. I tried really hard to get good grades and distract myself so that I couldn't have any free time. Even though the days seemed to pass slowly I finally finished my senior year, with a 4.9 GPA I might add. Charlie was so happy for me the day of graduation, and I think even I was happy that day . . . well, sort of. There was a party afterwards but I didn't feel like going.

The morning after graduation I received a letter from my mom. As always she was wondering how I'd been doing, she told me what she's been up to and I'm glad that at least some people in the world find happiness.

A week after I got my acceptance cards, I had applied almost for every college I'd ever heard of. There where from Washington University, to San Diego State University even Florida! But only one held my attention, it was the one I would have gone to if I were with him.

So here I am now, un-packing the last of the cardboard boxes in my room number 201 in Dartmouth University. I got here a couple of days ago after passing all the summer in Florida with Reneé, she was so happy that I could go to Florida eeven if I didn't want to go to college there.

The idea of having a dorm was sort of fun I guess, at least I'd get to know someone here for sure. She hasn't come here yet but we still have a few days before the school year starts. I only hope she isn't the partying kind of type, I just can't stand noise for long.

Since I was done un-packing I decided I'd go explore the campus a little more. I haven't seen the whole thing yet, it's just that it's so huge or so it seems but you can't blame me coming from a town that bearly had a little over 3000 people.

Looking around the campus was fun, I got to see their huge library which would probably be the place I would hang out the most. As I was taking the long way to my dorm I saw the music room so I decided to enter. There was no one inside and, like all the rooms here, it was huge and beautiful. They had every single instrument you could ever think of, but there was one that captivated me, the grand piano. Over the summer I also learned how to play the piano, it was a nice way of remembering him while not thinking of him directly. And after many failed attempts I learned how to play my lullaby. It didn't sound the same and I got stuck in some parts but still it made me relax a little.

I neared the piano and passed my finger lightly over the keys. I sat down on the benchand started playing what I could of my lullaby. Finally when my song was over my finger subconciously started playing one of the songs that could express my feelings just right.

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears.  
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave,  
Your pressence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone.

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real,  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.  
And I held your hand through all of these years.  
But you still have . . . all of me.

You used to captivate me by your resonating light.  
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind.  
Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams.  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me.

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real.  
There's just too much that time cannot erase.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.  
And I held your hand through all of these years.  
But you still have . . . all of me.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.  
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.  
And I held your hand through all of these years.  
But you still have . . . all of me

Me . .

Me . .

A single tear escaped my eyes. I just couldn't hold it back. There was just too much meaning in that song for me. This pain _is_ too real and time would never erase it. I knew it all along and even when he'd hurt me so bad he would always have all of me.

His face _is_ always in my dreams and nightmares and everytime I did something reckless or stupid his voice was there, he truly chased away all the sanity in me.

The worst part about my life was, that no matter how much I still loved him he never will love me back, he never had. That though just made al my charade fall, no matter how I looked on the outside I was broken and have been broken all along. I never recovered and never will he has all of me and I can't work properly without my heart or my soul, because he might belive he doesn't have one but he does . . . he has mine . . he owns mine.

I didn't realize I started crying until a tear drop fell on my finger. I had to get away from here before anyone saw me. I still didn't like to be the center of attention let alone crying. I started to get up from the bench but, being the klutz I am, my foot got stuck on the foot of the bench and I tripped.

I waited for the impact, it wouldn't be the first time anyway but before my face touched the floor a stron set of cold strong arms wrapped me around the waist and pulled me to a hard-stone chest.

I was scared to open my eyes. To see that there was no one close to me and that I luckily saved myself from tripping. I opened my eyes slowly only to find a God-looking Adonis holding me between his arms. I got captivated by his honey-gold warm eyes. My dreams were far from perfect. He was the same of course but instead of being the happy Edward I liked to remember (in comparison with the cold Edward I'd know for the last three days after my birthday) his face now held so much pain . . . too much.

He wasn't supossed to suffer, he wasn't supossed to be here! He wasn't supossed to care!

I got away from him as soon as my body started to react. I had to get away from here, this wasn't going to help me at all. By this point, I was an emotional wreck. I started to run towards the exit, glad that I didn't trip again.

-Bella wait!-he said

I just started to run faster, I just needed to get away from here, from him.

-Bella _please!-_his voice broke. I turned stopped and turned around. I found him on his knees dry sobbing. He looked so miserable, so hurt. Why would he be like that when he was the one who left me?

I couldn't move. My head told me to get away from here but my heart screamed at me that I should run towards him and tell him everything is goin to be okay.

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears._

I remembered that part of the song. That was the last thing I needed to start moving towards him. He had his head in his hands, still dry sobbing. I knelt in front of him, saying nothing. I didn't know what to say, what would make him feel better. After a moment he reached out and hugged me he started mumbiling something while crying over my shoulder. I couldn't understand at first but then it started to get clearer. He was mumbiling _ I'm sorry_ over and over again.

But what was he sorry for?

-What are you sorry for Edward?-I asked in whisper. My voice breaking. I realized I was crying too.

I didn't hug him back, I simply kept my arms at my sides afraid that I might do something he doesn't like. The last thing I wan't to do is scare him away, after all this time I always hoped I would find him somewhere, but at the same time I didn't.

He raised his head slowly and when I saw his face there was even more pain than before, if that where even posible.

-I'm sorry for lying Bella. You didn't deserve that, but it was the only way you would have a normal life-he said

I still had trouble believing that this was real. But then something he said hit me _it was the only way you would have a normal life. _So part of having a normal life y getting your heart broken and your soul taken away?

-You already said you were sorry Edward-I said his name even though it burned my throat-you said that back in the forest.

-I lied Bella, I'm sorry-he repeated.

-I know you did Edward, you left that clear that day.

-I lied, everything I said that day was a lie. The wors lie I've ever said in all my existance. That's why I'm sorry. For saying that I love when that wasn't and still isn't true.

I was beyond shock. This couldn't be happening it was just another cruel trick my mind was playing on me. He was convinced on what he said that day.

-You're lying-I acussed

-I swear that everything I just said was true. That day I had to leave you Bella, you had to be able to live a normal happy _human _life without any interfirence from my kind, like it should be. I lied because I knew you weren't going to let me leave any other way, and you belived me so easly, that was heartbreaking. After all the times I said that I loved you I thought that I would take hours to convince you knowing how stubburn you are, but it only took me minutes. The most painful minutes of my life.

I couldn't say anything. I couldn't move.

-After I left you I became a wreck, my family all missed you even Rosalie -an emmotionless smile crossed his lips-a fter eleven months of being alone Alice and Emmett finally dragged me back from Brazil to here but I didn't care. I was like if I were disconnected from my body, my mind racing wondering if you were okay, if you ever got over me.  
Alice didn't give me a choice and signed me up here. And I tried for my family's sake to at least be a little like I used to be. But I still couldn't be around them much so I asked Alice to get me a dorm only for myself and she did. I just came today they helped me put all of my things away and left. I was left with nothing to do so I tried to walk along the campues but then I heard your lullaby. At first I thought I had gone insane buti followed the sound, after that I heard a beautiful voice singing and I would recognize it anywhere. I literally ran here and when I finally did get here I felt as if everything that was missing went back into place, I felt like I was alive again instead of being dragged by time. Then I actually heard the lyrics of the song and I started feeling hurt. I was so ashammed about what I had caused and I was ready to leave but instead of heading towards the door it headed to the bench were you were sitting, then you got up and tripped I simply acted out of reflex, trying to protect you like always.  
I neede to tell you the truth Bella. I _am_ sorry, for everything. And if I could turn back time I would because what I did is not worth all the pain.

He became silent after that. My brain was still trying to process his words, they were just too much.

-I know it would be hard and I don't expect you to but I have to ask, do you want me too stay? Do you still want me, even after what I did?

I didn't have to think of it. I lauched myself into his arms and kissed him. He was surprised at first but quickly started to kiss me back. This was all too good to be true.

-I love you Bella and if it takes me forever to prove it to you I don't mind trying

-I want to be forever with you

-I love you

-I love you too.

Umm well . . . that's it! What do you think? Since I didn't do a disclaimer on top I'll do it here: SM owns Bella and Edward (unfortunately . . . . ) (and if she didn't Edward would be only mine! *Evil laugh*)  
The song is My Immortal by Evanescence, perfect isn't it?  
Please Review! Second One-Shot first songfic!  
I have no idea how Dartmouth is so don't blame me if im wrong on any of the details okay?(I'm only thirteen how am I supossed to know? **Or I WAS thirteen when I originally wrote this ... back in 2010:D**)  
The continuation of this OS is posted on my profile under the same name ... but it hasn't been worked on in a while just FYI  
Review!  
AnnaCullen01


End file.
